We want to be known for helping others.

In the Bible, Mark 12:31 states “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

This is a beautiful verse and one that can help us have more love in our life. But, I believe the true interpretation is something most people get wrong.

Some interpret this wisdom by only considering their neighbor and excluding themselves.

What happened to the “love yourself” part?

The Consequence of Neglecting Yourself

We focus on the needs and desires of others. We give and we give, until finally we have nothing left but neglect for ourselves and our own needs.

We jump through hoops to make other people happy — but at our own expense. The end result is the feeling of being overwhelmed, exhausted, and drained of any reserve energy to focus on our own wants and needs. The scariest part is, it could even lead to resentment of others.

When traveling on an airplane with young children, if necessary to use the drop-down oxygen masks, adults are instructed to place air masks first on themselves, and then on their children.

The logic behind this is to ensure that in the event of an emergency, the adult has enough oxygen to help the child. If the adult places the mask on the child first, there is a risk that the adult will run out of air and not be able to help themselves or the child. This would leave the child unable to fend for himself.

Is it selfish for the adult to place the mask on themselves first? No!

It’s just being responsible.

Take care of your own needs and desires first, in order to be able to take care of others.

Love yourself first so that you have the physical, mental, and emotional capacity to love others.

Give yourself quiet time, exercise, challenging work, meetings with friends – just anything that recharges you as a person. By acknowledging your needs, you acknowledge your self-worth.

As with the parent and the oxygen mask on the plane, what do you have left to give others, if you have neglected yourself?

So, Just How Can You Love Yourself?

It might seem strange to have to even ask this question. But as a mother, I sometimes find that I have forgotten how to love myself.

Now, you don’t have to be a parent to realize you don’t know how to love yourself. You might give a lot of your time to your community or even your extended family.

Let’s talk about how you can help yourself to eventually help others better.

Loving yourself means:

• Thinking as highly of yourself as you think of friends or peers.
• Celebrating your own strengths and achievements.
• Forgiving yourself for your mistakes.
• Focusing on what you can change, and not on what you cannot.
• Comparing yourself to you, and not to others
• Setting up realistic expectations.
• Accepting and learning from your mistakes.
• Being open and assertive with what you need from others.
• Gracefully accepting compliments from others.

Pat yourself on the back. Be proud of who God created you to be.

If you hit a roadblock, be ready to forgive yourself and don’t beat yourself up.

Don’t allow your past to dictate your future, even if you made undesirable or “bad” choices. In every “mess” is a message just for you to glean.

You are worthy because you were born. You are unique, special, and powerful.

Continue to help others. Continue to love those around you, but do so once you’ve loved yourself.

If you are not physically, mentally, and emotionally full, you won’t have anything left to give to anyone else.

Love yourself so that you can love your neighbor!

Have you felt like you have forgotten how to love yourself? Or have you recently felt the freedom of taking care of yourself first so that you can take care of others?

We want to hear about it in the comments below. We’d love to hear your story!

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