Why is Making a Change so Hard?
Maybe you’ve experienced this before (I know I have!): Knowing you want to make a change, yet struggling to take the necessary actions.
Good things come to those who wait, right? But what if you want results now? Why is making a change so hard?
I’m talking about long-term, meaningful changes, not switching from three to just two sugars in your coffee! Changing our behavior is one of the most challenging self-improvement projects to take on, yet so necessary in the process of growth and learning.
Luckily, there’s tons of research on the topic and here are 6 of the most prevailing reasons for why change is so hard:
Lasting change requires commitment. Otherwise, it’s just something you tried out for one, maybe two days. Without commitment, it’s nearly impossible to accomplish what we’ve set out to achieve.
Commitment disrupts your routine, lifestyle, behaviors and relationships, and that can be scary. In its sheer essence, commitment requires your whole heart and soul.
A pack-a-day smoker is going to have far less success quitting smoking when they stop cold turkey than if they wean themselves slowly. The same concept goes for any change you want to make in your life.
Say you want to write a book, it’s not going to get written in a day! You start by creating an outline, writing a few pages, organizing chapters and so on. Break your big goals into smaller, actionable ones for greater results and feelings of accomplishment.
We are typically results-oriented people, and when we don’t see immediate progress, we lose faith in ourselves and the process.
Heaven forbid you hit a roadblock along the way, or things don’t go exactly according to plan! The solution to a lack of patience is perspective; take a look at the broader picture and understand even when you feel like you’re not making headway, you are. Baby steps…
New Year’s resolutions are a great example. In the excitement of a fresh start, we set tons of goals, perhaps too many.
Then what ends up happening? Rather than giving total commitment to one or a few things, we spread ourselves too thin over many goals. Choose to focus on one thing at a time, so you can give it your all and reap significant results. Choose quality over quantity.
Feelings like fear, anxiety, regret, shame and embarrassment ingrain themselves in our memories. When we experience a negative emotion, even if only briefly, the aftermath is significant and lasting.
To achieve change, we have to operate on positive emotions, such as excitement, inspiration, motivation, belief and faith.
We are often our biggest critics. When the going gets tough, your mind is quick to question why you’re even trying in the first place.
Negative self-talk is a dangerous, self-reinforcing cycle. Nip it in the bud, whenever you catch yourself falling into a pit of self-doubt. Take failure off the table and change the dialogue in your mind.
I know what you’re capable of. Do you?
I want to see you step into your greatness.
Let’s talk about the changes you want to make, whether they be writing a book, starting or propelling your business, or something else.