You know I’m a fan of lists, but this list is a bit different than the average one. It’s the Unhappiness Laundry list.

How is it different?

Well, unlike things like “buy stamps”, “go to the dry cleaners” or “pick up eggs”, the items on this list are intangible. They are internal, and deeply personal.

So, go ahead; make that list.

Here are some samples:

• We don’t have enough money.
• I’m too busy.
• Betsy is always in a bad mood.
• Bruce never does want I want him to.
• My sister acts so nasty toward me. There’s no reason for her to be nasty!
• I hate my job!
• My boss doesn’t know what he/she is doing.

Only Your Brain Can Change the Negative into Positive

Now, what can you do to change each of these items? What specific action can you do to “cross” them off your list?

How about…

• We don’t have enough money.
  • I’m so grateful for the money we do have, and that we live in a world of opportunity and can always look for ways to augment our income.
• I’m too busy.
  • I enjoy managing my time well, so I never have to feel I’m too busy to read stories to my children, or create a wonderful bedtime experience for them when they can share all the events of the day with me.
• Betsy is always in a bad mood.
  • I’m going to do something special for Betsy today. I know she’s having a rough time in her personal life. I’m going to compliment her on her computer skills; she’s a genius and I think she doesn’t really know that.
• Bruce never does want I want him to.
  • Bruce is only two years old and he’s eager to test his wings. I will be loving and firm with him, letting him know who’s in charge. I’ll make the rules into a game.
• My sister acts so nasty toward me. There’s no reason for her to be nasty!
  • I’m so lucky to have my sister, even if we occasionally butt heads. I’m going to call her up right now and clear the air, so we can get back to the loving relationship I know we have.
• I hate my job!
  • Thank God I have a job and can support myself and my family! Tomorrow, I’m going to talk to my boss about my responsibilities and see if we can make some adjustments so I am more fulfilled.
• My boss doesn’t know what he/she is doing.
  • Despite our disagreements, I know they care and are doing their best. I’m going to take some time for reflection to get to the bottom of why I am so resistance to their leadership. Maybe it’s time for me to make a change, become my own boss, and find a career I am more enthusiastic about.

Are You Getting in Your Own Way?

For the most part, unhappiness is a symptom, not the cause. Unhappiness arises in our life when we feel a void in some aspect. That void is typically related to fear, anxiety, lack of time management, feelings of unfulfillment, or something similar.

Take a moment to reflect on what is holding you back. Is it your job; a relationship; your own attitude?

Now, when you feel unhappy, what are typical behaviors you exhibit? Do you lash out at others? Curl up in a ball and retract into your own thoughts?

Understanding these behaviors will help you try to eliminate them. Asking a trusted loved one can help you identify behaviors you didn’t even know you had! Be open and willing to listen — even if it’s hard! Communication is the key to everything.

Finally, take a look at your goals and your purpose. What is it you really want to

accomplish? How do you want to live, act and feel?

Line up those goals with your current behavior and note where you are self-sabotaging your own dreams.

Are you subconsciously creating behaviors and situations that will ultimately lead to failure?

Rome wasn’t built in a day, and your unhappiness won’t magically disappear in a short amount of time. It is a process, but one which YOU CAN DO!

I’m here for you. How can I help you step into your greatness? What legacy do you want to leave on this Earth?

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